Why Can’t We Have The Partner We Want

We cannot always have the partner we want, and that can be due to many reasons. False expectations generally play a very important role in this process.

However, you should know that it is possible that the partner you have always wanted is right under your nose and you are unable to appreciate it because you demand unrealistic things. Have you considered it?

Let’s go deeper.

What is the partner we want like?

First of all, it is very important to take the time to think a little and reflect on what you like and what you don’t like in a partner. Surely you know how to distinguish between what makes you feel good and behaviors that annoy or hurt you.

This way, it will be easier to find someone who meets or even exceeds these expectations. However, be careful, because many times it is believed that to fall in love one must find their prince or their fairy tale princess; someone idealized and worthy of a chivalric novel of the Middle Ages.

It’s okay to value the chivalry of medieval romances, but being realistic will help us find love without pretense.  The perfect person does not exist, so you should not focus on finding an unreal character.

You and nothing but you have the ability to determine what you want in this life. It is essential to put aside the myths; the ‘better half’ is not such, because nobody comes to fill in what we lack (or at least it should not be like that).

Why don’t we have the partner we want?

Believe it or not, we all have the person we want next to us. Or, at least, someone who we loved at some point and seemed different and unmatched. However, as time goes by, little by little one begins to get to know the other and it is discovered that, like the others, they have their weaknesses and weaknesses.

And that’s when the problems, fights, recriminations and separations begin. Perhaps we do not have the partner we want because we are afraid to ask him to change what makes us suffer. 

The worst of all is that we endure and let time pass, until one day we realize that we have spent our lives with someone who really did not make us happy.

On the other hand, it is very important to bear in mind that if one is not satisfied with their relationship, it may not be due to the partner itself, but to how we are.

Placing all your expectations on your partner while you forget about yourself and continue to grow as a person or as a professional is a mistake that, over time, becomes very expensive.

In addition, if you do not feel satisfied with yourself, it is almost impossible for you to be with those around you  and that includes your partner, but also friends, family, work colleagues, etc.

And, of course, the constant pressure exerted by the family or society must not be ignored. It is mandatory to be happy, have the perfect partner and comply with all cultural commandments.

Why do we want something different in the couple?

People are nonconformists by nature and that can be good if you know how to handle it. Otherwise, you will suffer and become a frustrated person unable to enjoy what he has.

When we are single, we fantasize about finding someone to do certain activities, such as going to the movies, having romantic walks, or dining by candlelight.

However, when we go out with someone, we often get overwhelmed by the idea of ​​doing this kind of thing. Others, we love that the other is independent, but we also miss what used to cause us heaviness. What’s happening to us? Why is nothing enough?

You miss what you don’t have for a dose of anxiety and ‘futurism’ that you don’t know how to control. This makes you feel guilty, frustrated, and unable to enjoy the person next to you.

Reflect and communicate with the other

It is said that people want what they do not have, instead of enjoying what they do have. It may seem difficult to understand, but it is easier than you think.

Most of the time, we tend to mythologize relationships and demand a series of expectations based on movies and novels that do not correspond to reality. You must be aware of this and reflect.

Your partner may have everything you are looking for to be happy, but you are unable to see it because you expect him to behave like an actor in a Hollywood movie. Value what you have and do yourself a favor: a love doesn’t have to be perfect… it has to be real.