The Wonderful Art Of Being Yourself: 3 Steps To Carry It Out

Being yourself requires high doses of courage. However, we are not always clear about the commitment that this implies and how important it is to assume it, for our own well-being. This is partly due to what is labeled “correct” by society.

Hence, leaving those pre-established patterns often implies pointing out . So being brave is not as easy as it is said to be.

In line with this reflection, we propose in this article 3 points from which to think carefully about the art of being yourself.

Previous reflections

During the first stage of life, we are guided by the behavior guidelines dictated by our families and teachers. Thus, as children, we begin to form an idea of ​​what is good and what is bad.

Upon reaching adolescence and early youth, the opinion of our peers has much more weight. At these ages, it is imperative to be accepted and recognized, above all, by our friends. The lack of attention to physical appearance or established fashions means suffering rejection even from those who claim to be our friends.

Until then, we are not ourselves, but what others expect. All these are, however, necessary stages to be able to answer the question later: Who am I?

Who am I really? How to be yourself?

Some ask themselves this question before; others later. But, the truth is that we all do it at a point in our lives.

It is not a question only relevant to Philosophy. Rather, its very formulation marks for the human being the progressive abandonment of adolescence and the entry into adulthood. That is why it is so important to do it. Of course, no less momentous is the answer. So let’s give it the importance it deserves.

Overcoming the crisis

When you realize who you really are, you discover how different you are from many of the people you interact with on a daily basis. Even in relation to those that have been a reference for him. We have the impression, then, that there are many more things that separate us than those that unite us.

These are moments that are lived with real anguish. But the crisis that the recognition of these truths implies for every human being is not only overcome. We also came out of it strengthened. Here, then, are some certainties that should never be lost sight of.

1. Being yourself is accepting your own identity

Being yourself is like carrying a very beautiful and special being in your heart, as well as delicate. The moment we are not faithful to him, he is wounded.

Now, there is one aspect that we must be clear about. Identity is not formed from casual or temporary acts. In other words, if I don’t have a job right now, I shouldn’t internalize the idea that “I’m a failure.”

Also, if I have experienced a recent breakup, it does not mean that “I do not deserve to be loved.

Being yourself implies not only assuming reality, however crude it may be. It means nourishing ourselves from our roots. It involves taking stock of what has been experienced up to that moment. Only then will we be able to form our own perspective on what happens to ourselves and around us. It is in our power, then, to try that the final result of this careful examination of reality is as global as it is positive.

Therefore, it is important not to forget that, once you have discovered your own identity, you must be faithful to the principles that define it.

Why do we sometimes break this agreement with ourselves

There is no single answer to this question. There are probably as many as human beings have experienced this conflict. However, here are some of the most common by way of illustration:

• Because we prioritize satisfying others ; that is, what others want us to be.
• Because of fear. Sometimes we fear showing ourselves as we are for fear of disappointing or not meeting the expectations of others.
• There are also those people who like themselves. Not accepting ourselves physically and emotionally is, without a doubt, a very dangerous source of frustration.

2. The labels that others put on us are useless, they have no value

Living in society entails having to deal with the sentences, the judgment and the labeling of the people with whom we live socially. So let us start from the fact that this is inevitable.

The human being feels the need to label and judge others. This is something inherent to the human condition if we think that the ultimate goal of our training is to differentiate good from evil. Let’s take an example: If I label this person as clumsy and ridiculous and she believes it, it means that, in fact, I have some power over her.

It may be that, at first, we allow ourselves to be carried away by judgments that, arbitrarily and always with some unhealthy interest, certain malicious people pour on us. Since we cannot prevent things like this from happening, our response must be to ignore this type of behavior. In no way should we let such slander affect us.

What others say or think about you is their problem. It is your particular universe. It should not affect you, because the only thing that will really make us happy is to feel proud of being ourselves, in freedom.

3. Being yourself also means making changes

Establishing your own identity does not mean creating immovable roots. Who refuses to change some aspect of himself does not allow himself to grow. It will also not be able to adapt to its environment. And, this in evolutionary terms, is synonymous with “perishing.”

Carl Rogers was one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century. His humanistic approach to Psychology was based on the recognition of these axes that he considers essential:

• People develop our personality to achieve our vital goals.

• The moment we accept ourselves, we allow ourselves to change to achieve our dreams.

An example, by way of illustration

• You are living a very complicated relationship. In the end, you decide to take the step and break that bond.
• You do it because you know what you want and what you don’t, because you want to “be yourself” and not maintain a substitute for happiness in which both of you are damaging each other.
• To leave that relationship behind, you have had to make a change in your inner being. Taking that decision responsibly implies not only having weighed the consequences of that act. You have also had the strength to face the inconveniences in the emotional and practical order, which involves cutting ties with a person who has been central in your life.

To change, in reality, is to allow ourselves to grow, to continue being ourselves.

Final reflection or coda

To conclude, the art of being who we really want to be requires, first of all, to accept ourselves. Later, we will move forward with each triumph to continue building our identity. And, don’t get depressed if you mess up. Remember that we learn particularly from mistakes. Of course, the need to be a better person every day should always guide us. Trust us: It’s worth a try.