What Your Eyes Have Not Seen That Gossip Does Not Invent

Unfounded, malicious and false gossip is common in most social contexts. Beyond the damage it seeks to cause, the person responsible for creating the gossip in turn manages, with skillful tricks, to acquire a position of power in those environments.

At the end of the day, the hypocrite is the one who creates the rumor, the gossiper who spreads it and the naive one who assumes it without resisting.

All these harmful movements become so harmonious and perfect that, after a short time, an entire social group ends up assuming a completely false type of information.

If we also take into account that, today, all gossip finds its perfect space through social networks, we also understand the incredible impact that these complex realities can have on our society.

Now, we must never forget that gossip dies when it reaches the ears of the intelligent person.

Thus, it is necessary that we always be critical of the information received and that we act forcefully in the face of those official “rumorologists” that always exist in our closest spaces.

The curious anatomy of gossip and rumor

Believe it or not, humans are fascinated by rumors. So much so that this type of sociological phenomenon usually has a very specific purpose in our psychology.

Gordon Allport was one of the most notable psychologists in the study of 20th century personality. With books such as “The Psychology of Rumors”, published in 1947, he revealed clear and forceful concepts about these behaviors so common in humans. We explain them below.

Gossip helps us fight stress

Consider, for example, the remarkable success of all the programs devoted to the subject of the heart, the lives of famous people and that pink press that, at the moment, does not seem to have an expiration date.

• On average,  people find secret and pleasing pleasure listening to gossip and rumors around third parties who are known to them.
• It helps us to talk with other people, to laugh, surprise, criticize and establish a series of interactions with which our brain releases endorphins and even helps us fight stress.

• We just have to remember those moments in our work when, on a break, someone starts to comment on a gossip. Before long, we all gathered around him to listen. Sometimes it is cathartic.

Gossip empowers whoever escapes it

Sometimes a gossip has a very specific purpose: to harm someone, to discredit them and thereby acquire a certain notoriety.

• The problem with all these phenomena is that, between those who create gossip and those who suffer it when they feel aggrieved, there is a whole series of people who, Far from acting as a “check dam” through wise ears and a critical mind, he prefers to let go and assume the false.
• Let’s think about what happens sometimes when a fake  or deception arrives on our social networks .
• Most likely, this information is covered with a certain emotional impact, something that immediately sensitizes us and that does not give us time to see it with a more critical sense.
• We share that information instantly with our friends on social networks, and by doing so, we in turn feel a certain gratification, a certain pleasure in “impacting” our acquaintances with that data as well.

How to deal with gossip or rumors

It must be clear: gossip is for naive people. Wise people, for their part, will apply an adequate and precise filter with which to assess information before taking it for granted.

• If we ourselves are the object of this gossip, we must not lose our cool or reach desperate situations. To foolish words, wise ears.
• What we will do is act normally, as well as assertiveness, being congruent with ourselves.

Unfounded gossip falls by itself, but if we react with anger or disdain, we offer an emotional charge that further fuels the gossip.

• We will defend ourselves naturally and try to rely on those close people with whom we have confidence so that they in turn serve as a filter against what does not make sense, against what does not work and only seeks to do harm .

In turn, it is worth recalling here what Socrates himself once left us in his dialogues regarding gossip and rumors.

Every time they come to us with information about someone, we must apply 3 filters, three types of questions that will allow us to “dismantle” the rumor.

They are as follows:

• Are you sure what you’re going to tell me is true? (truth filter)
• Is what you’re going to tell me a good thing? (filter of goodness)
• Is what you are going to tell me useful? (utility filter)